Anti-Social Media

-How social media is leading us to a more anti-social world-

I’ve noticed a trend in recent years among the general American public: people are not as friendly as they used to be.  Everywhere I look I see people walking around with a glower on their faces.  I’ve said hi to people who in turn looked at me like I was insane.  It seems like people are avoiding socializing. 

How can that be?  We live in a modern age where socializing has never been easier.  With the smartphone, texting and WiFi we can talk to anyone, anytime.  With Facebook and Twitter we can tell where our friends are and what they’re doing all the time. 

And funnily enough, that’s exactly the problem here. 

Let’s wind back the clock just twenty-five years.  It’s 1988.  I’m an infant, George H. W. Bush is in office and gas is $0.81 per gallon.  More importantly, technology is in a different place.  There’s a relatively new model of the portable telephone that’s becoming popular because it doesn’t require a belt-mounted battery pack, but it’s very expensive and most people don’t bother.  Yet. 

Try to think about how things were before the Internet.  I realize that’s quite a task for any college student.  I was only 8 years old when the Internet was commercialized, and only 13 when it began to rise to the throne of modern society.  It’s safe to say that if you’re 21 or younger, you probably don’t remember a time before at least some form of commercially used Internet existed. 

Anyone older than me probably does remember a time before the Internet was a thing.  Try to remember how social interactions worked back then.  There were only two ways to instantly communicate: you either talked in person or you talked on the phone, but since most phones were grounded with cables you usually just used them to arrange a time and place to socialize in person.

It’s difficult for teenagers to socialize at first, it always has been.  But back in 1987, you either talked to people in person or you would be spending a lot of time alone.  To have a healthy level of social interaction you had to leave your comfort zone and say hello to strangers.  And once people did that a few times, and then it became second nature.

Before I go on, I realize this is not true of everyone.  Bullying plays a large role in social awkwardness.  I know because I was a victim, and the cruelty of my youthful peers followed me through high school and well into adulthood.  But that’s a separate issue I’ll be sure to tackle in a future column. 

Now, let’s come back to today.  2013, Barack Obama, Twitter, iPhone, etc.  The reason teenagers are not as sociable as they used to be is simple: they no longer need to be.  It’s no longer necessary for them to leave their comfort zones.  Why?  Because they have a device that lets them interact with their friends at all times.  Friends, as in their own little clique, people they’re already comfortable with, people they know won’t judge them or be rude to them. 

At work the other day I talked to a co-worker about this phenomenon.  I wanted his opinion on it because he’s much older than I am and spent most of his life in the pre-social media world.  He was born in 1940.  Those of you who know him call him “Bull.” 

Bull says he has noticed the trend as well.  He told me that he often goes to Atlanta, and when he makes eye contact with a younger person, they immediately whip out their phones and bury their faces in them.   When he mentioned that I recalled an incident where a young lady came in to shop with her mother and never once looked away from her screen from the moment they walked in to the moment they left. 

We’re not the only ones who have noticed.  My mother works with the public as well, and she has told me that when she goes to lunch she sees families sitting around restaurant tables with mother, father and children all enamored with their screens and not interacting with each other in the slightest. 

With all of this going on, is it really any wonder that we end up with socially degenerate teenagers that think it’s funny to plant homemade soda-bottle bombs in people’s yards?  Or who end up pregnant and addicted to Meth at age 13?  I realize that social media has only been a big thing for about 10 years now, but do you really think that the aforementioned situations are going to make things better? 

But for all my ranting, I have to admit that I don’t really have a solution.  I guess technology is like anything else.   If you use it responsibly, it can do a world of good.  Look at me, after all; I’ve been using the Internet for paid work for years now.  However, like everything else in life, be it food or medicine or television, using it in such extreme excess can be terribly destructive. 

One thing I will say: I see kids younger and younger with cell phones all the time.  I’ve seen a girl who couldn’t have been older than 10 pull an iPhone out of her purse and peck away at it.  To all my old friends who are now parents, all I ask is that you spend some time discussing when the right time is to give your child that sort of freedom and responsibility.  It could have a huge impact on said child’s ability to comingle in the future.

Adam Alexander © 2013